welcome to teens are emotionally feeling

feeling in love... feeling loved.... loving

emotions & feelings
feeling abandoned
feeling accepted
feeling accountable
feeling affectionate
feeling aggressive
feeling ambivalent
feeling angry
feeling anxious
feeling appreciation, feeling appreciated
feeling arrogant
avoidance -feeling the need to "avoid" something
feeling awkward
feeling balanced
feeling close
feeling curious
feeling depressed
feeling disappointed
feeling excited
feeling like a failure
feeling fearful or afraid
feeling frustrated
feeling happy
feeling hate
feeling hostile, experiencing hostility
feeling impatient
feeling indifferent
feeling joyful
feeling lonely
feeling in love... feeling loved.... loving
needed - need
feeling negative
feeling obligated
feeling open
feeling optimistic
feeling positive
feeling rebellious
feeling restless...
feeling sad
needing understanding - wanting to understand
feeling wounded

is it really love?

There are so many kinds of love. What are you looking for? Does your mother or father love you?
Do you love your best friend, but she stole your man?

what are you really feeling?

Are you adopted and you feel abandoned by the love of your birth mother and father?
Have you been rejected in love?

do you love yourself? can you love a baby?

Are you head over heels in love?
Are you looking for happily ever after love?

a groovy kind of love

"The Time Of Your Life"

Standing there on a road that leads to anywhere
Like a child left in the wilderness, standing there penniless
Wanting to be the best

Here's a place where life runs at a different pace
Where love is just convenient, none are obedient
And we are subservient

Look at me, I'm a girl that some may preconceive
Why do they try and generalize, why are they antagonizing me
But something I can't control that...

I Wantcha
You know I'll never stop 'til I've gotcha
You'll never be quite the same when I rock ya
I'm not the kind of girl that you thought I was
You'll have a good time 'cause I wantcha
I'm breaking down the walls 'till I have you, feel you
Show you the time of your life

Here we are and I wonder how we've come this far
In a world that does not recognize women are victimized
What does that symbolize

Why do I want the things I usually criticize
It may be self destructiveness, or maybe it's emptiness inside
But something I can't control that...

You'll have a good time...
It's a lonely road, and no one knows the way that I feel
I'm not giving up now... I'll never try to justify
They'll never understand, you'll be a happy man
You'll have the time of your life

It's something, it's something, it's something that I can't control
The time of your life...

alanis morrissette

so many feelings and emotions...

Sometimes love hurts.
I've done some reading about what it's like to give up a baby for adoption and what it's like to be an adopted person. What I found out was surprising to me.
The reason I was so surprised is that I didn't ever think that someone who had been adopted would experience so much heartache. I don't know why... maybe it's just an assumption that people make - thinking that a person would be glad that they were adopted and not abandoned. I was thinking that it must be wonderful to be wanted and know that it wasn't an accident that you were received into a family.
But what I found out was that sometimes, most of the time, adopted people have huge heartache in being adopted. They feel abandoned instead of feeling wanted. They want to know why their birth mother and father gave them up for adoption. They feel hurt and insignificant and defective - like there must have been something wrong with them - that caused the birth parents to give them up.

do you feel abandoned by love?
are you feeling abandoned by love?

Adoption: An Act of Love

are you feeling abandoned by love?

When I first found out I was pregnant, I wondered ... why me? Why now? I was doing well in school, and my social life was at full force. My pregnancy angered and frustrated me. I knew that this meant that some of the things I enjoyed doing all of the time would have to be put on hold for a while. I knew that if I decided to raise my baby myself, returning to school would have to be put off for a while. I knew that the wonderful feeling of freedom I was experiencing would have to come to a stop. And being only 20 years old, I felt as though I was too young to have to give these things up.

Learning more about adoption and how it is an act of love comforted me and my family, but questions still arose in my mind. After thinking about it, I really understood that I couldn't give my child the kind of life I wanted him or her to have, and I decided to place my baby for adoption.

I have told you both that I trust you to make decisions for this child's life, and I do. He will have the best role models to follow in the two of you. I have been preparing for this day as much as one possibly can. And I am still unsure of what my feelings will be after today. One feeling I know will never change is being certain that this is the best decision for me and for my baby. I know that when I place this child into your arms and watch you walk away, his wonderful life will already be beginning. So, when we leave today there will be no need to say goodbye — we will see each other soon, and this child will have so many people to love him as the years go by. A beautiful future is waiting for all of us, and I am excited to share it with all of you.

With great love,

are you feeling abandoned by love?

Today, Sabrina is achieving her goals and attending school. Her relationship with her son, Aaron, and his family is a very positive, open relationship. Sabrina is still coming to grips with what it means to be a birth parent and the losses that come with it, but more importantly, she is constantly reminded that she made the best decision for everyone when she decided to place her child for adoption. Here are her own reflections on what it means to be a birth parent:

My son was born on January 6, 2000. Even though it has been almost six months since that time, it still feels like yesterday. Although it was difficult for me to place my son with another family after "parenting" him for nine month
s in my womb, I'm still confident that it was the best decision for all of us.

The many pictures I receive from his adoptive family are wonderful. And when I hold him in my arms, change his diapers, feed him his cereal, and occasionally give him a bath, I know that these are the things that make being a birth parent so unique.

I'm sure many people look at me and wonder how I could have given up my child after carrying him to term. I wish people could understand how much strength and love it takes to make that decision. We birth parents are people who wanted more for our child than we could give, and we were strong enough and selfless enough to face that fact. We looked ahead to the future, and I'm sure for most birth parents being pregnant at this time of life was not exactly what we had dreamed of.

When I see him now with his new family, it cleanses me of my sadness. It makes me live one day at a time, doing the things that make me happy. Being a full-time student and working in the human service field are both things that are helping me to reach my goals. But the goal that's most important to me is seeing my son happy. And knowing that my son will know who I am and that the reason he was placed with his family was because I loved him so much.

I'm thankful for so many things — my life, my family, my personality, my strength, and most importantly, my gift of a child given to two angels who will see to it that he grows into a man.

source: click here

"Feel Your Love"

Baby, I've got this thing for you
I'm thinkin' there's somethin' goin' on now
A wicked imagination
A serious kind of somethin' new
It's drivin' me right out of my mind now
It's gotta be desperation
Can't feel no pain when I'm thinking about you
Dreamin' isn't black and white
Can't make no gain 'til my vision c-comes true
Give it to me like I'd like to give it to you

Love I wanna feel your love
Right from the bottom of my heart to your hands
(now baby now) Love I wanna feel your love
You know this waitin' for you boy I can't stand

Bein' just who you wanna be and doin' whatever
comes to mind now
I gotta get information
Never knew what to do with you
You're givin' me sometin' to hold on to
My newest infatuation
"People Power" means I gotta believe you
Can't you hear the voices callin'
Keep your flowers cause their colour will turn blue
Give it to me like I'd like to give it to you

Love I wanna feel your love
Right from the bottom of your heart to your hands
(now baby now) Love I wanna feel your love
You know this waitin' for you boy I can't stand

alanis morissette

"No Apologies"

Whenever we talk about sun all I see is the rain
It's like looking for tears in a ocean
I'm hearing your words like the wind
They blow straight through my heart
Will you ever give in to emotion

And we hurt the ones that we love the most
Why we do only heaven knows
And I don't know why I'm still holding on...holding on

I reach in my heart to see
If your love is alive in me
But now I feel alone
My feelings turn to stone
My heart makes no apologies

When an apology's made it isn't always enough
To erase all the past in a moment
Whenever I need you the most
You always leave me behind
With a word from your lips I'm alone

You've been blind not to realize
All the love that I hold inside
So tell me why do I keep holding on...holding on

I reach in my heart to see
If your love is alive in me
But now I feel alone
My feelings turn to stone
My heart makes no apologies

What I need is your sympathy
Like a light flowing into me
But I will never give up holding on...holding on

I reach in my heart to see
If your love is alive in me
But now I feel alone
My feelings turn to stone
My heart makes no apologies

...my heart makes no apologies no no
my feelings turn to stone... I make no apologies

alanis morrissette

So I kept reading and talking to people and understanding just what it meant to be adopted. I think I understand it. I think I can see the problems that are normal problems that teens have, but are made more intense and more complicated because of being adopted.
I know that I don't know what it feels like because I wasn't adopted. The reason this information is here is because I want you to understand if you are an adopted teen that I acknowledge your pain and I want to validate your emotions and feelings and give you a sense that someone is trying to understand you.

p.s. i love you....

Adopted Teens Face Unique Challenges

By Christina C., 18, Staff Writer

Originally Published: Feb 24, 2004

Revised: Oct 25, 2006

When asked how he feels about being adopted, Bill, a 17-year-old New Jersey teen who was adopted from Bogota, Columbia, remembers an incident at elementary school in America.

Our teacher taught us to draw self-portraits with crayons after looking in the mirror. I drew mine with brown skin, and a kid asked why my mommy had white skin. I replied, ’She just does,’” says Bill.

That was the end of a small discussion between two preschool children, but the beginning of a larger issue that will always be a significant part of Bill’s life as an adopted teen. 

Growing up is a difficult process for all teenagers, and being adopted, inter-racially or otherwise, only adds to one’s emotions. All teens struggle every day with who they are, their place in the world, and how they are supposed to mature in a “socially
responsible” way without compromising their inner selves.  Adopted teens can face additional challenges when dealing with these tough issues.

There are many different types of adoption: open and closed, international and domestic, each of which has different laws and privileges governing its practices. 

Open adoption provides the child with every available record of his or her birth parents, while closed adoption allows the adoptee to see records of his or her parents only after he or she turns 18.  International adoption is faster for adopting parents, because many more foreign children need homes. Domestic adoptions occur just within the country’s borders.

Questions Remain

Many argue that if you are nurtured in a loving environment, it doesn’t matter who your birth parents are or were. But adoptees inevitably question their past and the reasons for their adoption.  

I think about my birth parents every day.  I want to meet them one day, and even though I know there’s always the possibility of heartbreak, I’m willing to take that risk to discover who I could’ve been,” says Lauren O’Donnell, 16, of Ridgewood, NJ.

Birth parents occupy an important place in an adopted person’s life throughout every stage in his or her being,” explains Ronny Diamond, director of post-adoption resources at Spence-Chapin Adoption Service, in New York City.

It’s natural for a teen to feel a sense of loss whenever a significant family relationship is missing from his or her life - whether it’s with a birth parent or a grandparent. If a teen grows up without a grandparent, he or she will wonder about the loss of that relationship. Adopted teens go through similar feelings of wonder and loss about their birth parents, according to Diamond.

It’s not only the loss of the actual person but, more importantly, it’s the loss of the experience of having that relationship that can make an individual upset. The death or absence of a birth parent, even a parent who didn’t acknowledge any relation to an adoptee, is a loss within itself - a loss of a dream and loss of an image,” says Diamond.

Adopted teens can also face additional challenges with puberty and sexuality. 

They have no markers or time frames around life-cycle events, such as the age of onset of menstruation, eventual height, start of facial hair growth (for a boy), etc.,”  explains Diamond.

Biological parents are the best indicators of these events, and adopted teens can feel very anxious about not knowing what to expect.”

Some adopted teens can even feel confused about their eventual reproductive abilities. 

On the one hand, they can think their birth parents are ’super fertile,’ but on the other hand, they can think their adoptive parents are infertile,” she explains.

The challenge for many adopted teens is to discover where they fit between the two extremes.

Talking It Out

While growing up adopted can be emotionally challenging for some teens, it can also present difficulties for their parents.  It is important for parents and teens to communicate in any relationship, but in an adopted relationship, open lines of discussion are vital for all involved. 

At first, Lauren and her dad were uncomfortable talking about how he adopted her and their feelings about the adoption.

I used to be kind of sensitive to the topic, and I kept my feelings bottled up, except for short conversations with friends. Recently I began talking a lot to my dad. Our conversations helped us discover feelings that we never knew existed between us.  I feel so much better talking with him than I do with my friends, because he and I are in this together,” says Lauren.

From conversations with adopted teens, it seems clear that adopted parents love exactly the same way as birth parents. Bill captures the essence of adoption when he says, “I think I appreciate my parents more than most kids my age, because they’ve given me everything in the world - by their own choice. I wouldn’t have it any other way.” 

source site: click here

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