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feeling joyful

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Joy to the ... Whatever

  • Family Ties. Like Tiffany's, families often change over time. A divorce or death in the family can transform a happy holiday time into a day when sad thoughts and feelings are on everyone's mind. Andrew's parents recently separated, and he had to move out of his house. "This will be the first Thanksgiving when the whole family won't be together," he says.

    On the other hand, for teens whose families are intact, spending a lot of time around their families can sometimes be stressful. "The blues could be the pressure of smiling and being pleasant through hours and hours of family engagement," explains Dr. Carol Dahir, a professor of counselor education at the New York Institute of Technology.

  • All About the Benjamins? During the holidays, money is often an issue for almost everyone — teens and adults alike. A high premium is placed on gift giving in American culture. Every retailer selling a wreath or menorah (or a bike or a couch or a DVD player) wants you to buy, buy, buy. For teens who aren't raking in the bucks — or whose families are having financial troubles — this can feel like a lot of pressure.

    "Sometimes I don't have money to get something for all the people I want to," says Tiffany. "Or I get them something, but not what I wanted — because I don't have the money."

  • The Friend Factor. Cut off from their friends, teens are often unhappy during the holiday break. "I get really bored when my friends aren't around and spend most of my time sleeping, eating, and online," says SillyMoo, who posts her gripes on a message board. And although vacation is a great opportunity to sleep late and chill out, sometimes being off a normal schedule can throw teens for a loop, causing crankiness and boredom.

Blues Be Gone!

Dealing with the blues isn't easy. Sometimes the best thing to do is just ride them out. But in the long run, you'll be better off if you deal with the issues that cause them.

  • If the holidays get you down because someone you cared about is gone, try to remember the good times you had with that person. Instead of dwelling on how those times won't happen anymore, focus on how happy you are to have had those experiences. And start creating good memories with the people who are in your life now.

  • If money is a problem, keep in mind that the best gifts aren't the most expensive but the most heartfelt. Instead of investing money, invest time. Think of creative ways to express your affection or appreciation. A gift that took you two weeks to make is surely worth more than one that took you 20 minutes to buy.

  • If you're going to be cut off from your friends during the holidays, plan ahead. Check with your parents and see if they mind if you skip out one night to catch a flick with the crew.

The good thing about the holiday blues is that normally they only last as long as the holidays! But if you're still feeling totally bummed and the holiday season is long gone, you may want to talk to an adult who can put you in touch with a counselor or therapist, or check out the National Mental Health Association's Resource Center.

Now, go spread some cheer!

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